Thursday, October 22, 2009
A dear friend of mine probed me into writing a blog on the word EX. What is it in this one demi-word EX, that the whole world is frightened by it ?? Oh Common now, it’s not even a word by itself, and yet it is so powerful that it moves the world. Take for example, when I mentioned the word EX… my friend Aakash , instantaneously mentioned Ex- Boy friend eh ! So you will be talking about them. I mean, I have heard a whole lot of people talk about their EX’s. I have even given a piece of my mind to my friend Arjun for talking too much about his ex-girl friend.
It is quite unlike me to stick my head in the past, and remember the EX. So much so, that there are times as though I feel I never dated in the first place. I don’t know if it is a good thing. But I do not carry my baggage around. Maybe that’s why time and again Pankti and Ami have to nudge me and tell me I always fall for the same guys !! THE WRONG ONES.
But the heart doesn’t learn from past mistakes. Maybe my type is the WRONG TYPE. But that doesn’t mean I hold the reins to my heart in my head and not let it wander. I fear living in the day when I let my mind command my heart by instilling fear of the EX.
Anyway, the point of this whole blog is to emphasize EX. Why can’t people think of EX-FACTOR. Today I stand out amongst most girls for being different. Different in many ways – I am fat for instance. It gives me the EX-FACTOR amongst thin girls. I am articulate, this gives me the ex-factor amongst girls who mumble. I am confident about what I am doing and yet yearn to learn something new each passing day, the gives me Ex-factor amongst people who are complacent and not so confident. My concern today is WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE AN EX-FACTOR tomorrow.
In the first sense, no one wants to be an EX. But my fear is what if tomorrow I am not an EX… with an EX- FACTOR ! Will I survive ? Will I be able to live with myself. A byline on somebody’s MSN/ GMAIL was the 2nd winner is the first looser !! Will I be comfortable being 2nd ??
In this sense I also fear leaving this world… Becoming an EX… Not read enough, not listened to great people enough, not travelled enough, not worked enough, not made money enough, not met interesting people enough, not having tasted enough food and wine enough, not having partied enough, not having told people I am sorry for my past enough, not having told people I love them enough and above all, not made my life worth remembering enough.
AND THEN PEOPLE THINK OF ONLY BEING EX- IN GIRL FRIEND, BOY FRIEND SENSE… There are greater fears of the Ex’s than a mere relationship. But alas, the world skips a heart-beat at the word EX !!!